pg-13 | au, angst. 658w.
*I do not own Super Junior, but I do own the plot, yo.
Donghae leaves Hyukjae with less than nothing and absolutely everything.
From all the shouting and screaming, Hyukjae thinks it can’t compare to the sound of the door - their door - shut close. Embracing the silence, he can make out Donghae deciding whether or not to lock their door, and when he doesn't, Hyukjae releases a breath he didn't think he was holding.>
The silence in their bedroom encourages him to invade Donghae's side of the closet. From the way he’s clawing at any article of clothing that doesn’t scream his, Hyukjae doesn’t have the will to notice the clutter he made is no better than any of Donghae’s. He’s not used to cleaning his own messes because he never had one of his own to fix; it was - will - always be Donghae’s.
Eventually Hyukjae finds something left forgotten yet worn in the back of their closet – the one he was looking for. He took his clothes off piece by piece with a sudden eagerness he didn’t know he had. Stripped to the bone, Hyukjae draped the shirt over his frame and masked his own scent with Donghae’s in hopes to forget what Donghae said.
He shuts the closet, feeling a rush of confidence each time he inhaled. And with every exhale there it went – just like Donghae.
There’s nothing hazy about his vision, no tears to burn his face, nor an uncontrollable shake of his shoulders. Without a blink every now and then, Hyukjae would’ve looked gone and distant, his mind racing ahead of reality. Not that he could tell the difference.
He already stopped keeping track of the time when his thoughts wandered dangerously. For all he knows it could be 10 past 6, but there’s no indication in his stomach that it’s true.
Hyukjae opens his mouth but doesn’t speak. Donghae left but his favourite shirt didn’t leave with him. He’s coming back, he thinks. He has to.
He won’t check up on him; Donghae’s phone is turned off. This is a casual fight. They fight everyday. It’s normal.
Hyukjae decides to remain on the floor, goose bumps and all scalded by Donghae’s scent. He’s never felt this patient before.
The warmth of sunlight serves as his alarm clock. Hyukjae yawns, bones uncomfortably uncomfortable, shifting around mahogany. He doesn’t get a kiss full of morning breath, chocolate eyes creeping over his face, nor a heavy body inconsiderately wrapped around his frame. It makes him second-guess whether he’s truly awake or Donghae’s out and about finding breakfast.
There’s no note to give Hyukjae the encouragement to stay in denial or closure to let go.
Hyukjae can’t think, doesn’t even know where to start. He wants to remember the last words Donghae said to him.
He’d love to remember it, in fact, and let go of the feeling. The pain of hearing all the goodbyes he’s heard in his life said all at once, leaving him on the floor in Donghae’s shirt that’ll never be retrieved.The love they shared no longer meant a thing.
All Hyukjae wants to do is inhale but his body rejects his idea. He’s forced to exhale every thought of Donghae he puts in.
Hyukjae takes his shirt off, fabric wiping over his cheeks where his tears wouldn’t go.
The shirt finds its way under the bed and folded, left alone. And Hyukjae doesn’t want to regret any of this. He humours himself by tidying up the house, starting with anything farthest from the bedroom. Laughing only slightly, Hyukjae tells himself his home is clean for the next time Donghae takes the chance to come back and fuck it over.
A moment ceases to pass when Hyukjae decides to lock his door, only to realize his door was already locked for him.
It hurts him so to love him, but Hyukjae won’t say goodbye.
With tears that threaten to fall from his awoken eyes but don’t stand a chance to Hyukjae’s trembling fingers, he unlocks the door. Open to any damage to come.
a/n: this is the result of lack of sleep, stress, and months of Haehyuk-deprivation XD. I swear this was initially going to be a happy fic, and I was debating whether it should be Haehyuk or Kailu but Haehyuk won out in the end. Idek what to make of this fic… er drabble o.e /Sighh on a positive note, Summer Vacation is starting for me in a week! WAHOOOO!!
Goodbye school, hello final exams.So hopefully I’ll be in the summer-mood for Haehyuk fics instead of being a Debbie-Downer :D aaand that’s it. Peace-out guys